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Baby Girl: “Mommy, I don’t like my body”

Me: “What?”

Baby Girl: “Auntie Lisa’s butt is so big, and my butt is so little”

A wave of despair washed over me. Pure despair. I did this. As progressive, as aware, and as conscious as I believe myself to be, my vocal body image issues have penetrated the mind of my child. She is 5… she is perfect, and she just said that she hates her precious little baby tush!

How did this happen? Why is this a thing already?

I spent a few days auditing my safe space narrative. The words and phrases I say when I am in my bedroom-getting ready for work or a weekend outing. The little things I mumble to myself when I slide into a pair of jeans, try on a colorful top or pick out my accessories.

I am incredibly critical of myself. I wouldn’t dare call another woman fat, but I say it to myself in the mirror everyday. All the while, somewhere in the nearby background, playing with her toys or coloring freely is a little girl seemingly in her own world but absorbing mommy’s often thoughtless complaints about how flat my butt looks in a pair of pants.

Why is this my truth, why is this okay?

Last Sunday, when I stepped into Target in search of jeans for another wonderful project sponsored by them, I struggled. I remembered my daughter’s words and I thought about what I wanted from this next purchase. I have a dresser filled with clothes that no longer fit, favorites kept while I wish and sometimes work my way back to where I believe I should be physically.

I decided to not focus on the size I needed, and focus on the fit I wanted. When I step into my clothes, I don’t want to celebrate a number but cry out about the muffin top it triggered.

I picked out various styles in multiple sizes. I went for bold pieces with character, things that would speak to my sometimes adventurous and very exuberant personality. I tried pieces that meshed with my sometimes reserved and very laid-back side.

In the end I picked something simple. Gray. Something that would wear well on those weekends where I paint the town red with girlfriends or just run random errands with the kids.
I wore these jeans this past Sunday to a performance where I sung background for my husband’s band, to an ice cream outing with the kids and to a bonfire on beach with my closest friends. I felt comfortable. I felt authentic.

I put on a pair of jeans that fit me in more ways than one. 

Here's my guide for finding the perfect jeans:
  1. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again: Try on multiple pairs to determine what you like or what look good on you.
  2. Size ain't nothing but a number: Do not only try on multiple styles but multiple sizes. Maybe a style runs small or large? You very well maybe the exact size you always are, but a denim with little stretch may warrant going up a size.
  3. Try something new: Try a different wash (darker or lighter), give distressed denim a try, and don't be afraid to venture outside of your comfort zone.
  4. Pair your jeans with the right stuff: Heels or sneakers, fitted or boyfriend tee, bold accessories or simple earrings; these little choices can make the difference between a good and a great jeans day. Try different outfit combinations and have fun with it.

If you need to let go of a pair of jeans that aren’t a good fit in more ways than one, in the first 2 weeks in August (8/2 - 8/15), you’ll get free shipping and free returns when you shop denim on www.target.com/jeans.  Find your style and please let us know how it by sharing on social media with the hashtag #TargetStyle.
I'm wearing Mid-Rise Jeggings in gray from Target.

Find your style @Targetstyle