The morning of my birthday, I sat in an empty room and sobbed quietly.  There was this work related moment that got under my skin and penetrated my defenses. I was lost to a sea of emotions, vile emotions.

My husband had just left with our son to grab my little morning treats for my 8 AM dance party and my daughter was sound asleep in bed. So I sat in a dim room and pondered all the things I hated about my career or my personal life.

Why did I do this? I really don’t know. I don’t make a habit of drowning in the negative. No matter how bright and shiny your life/career/marriage is, if you try hard enough, you can believe it sucks. So I sat and I cried.

I regained my composure in a few minutes. I made some plans for Monday morning. I decided to throw all my cares and responsibilities to the wind and allow my husband to see all his surprise plans to fruition. My perspective shifted and my day became filled with the wonder of sunshine and joy.

I had an 8 AM dance party in a living room filled from floor to ceiling with a rainbow of colorful balloons.

I went plant shopping and bought beautiful green things to ground my space and my spirit.

We had brunch at my favorite café.

I had a pedicure with natural and organic ingredients from this boutique nail spa.

I saw an indie period drama, IN A THEATER! The husband encouraged me to pick out a film that was just for me. He endured and ended up enjoying Far From the Madding Crowd, a film adaption of a Thomas Hardy romantic drama with a strong female lead. We whispered hilarious commentary back and forth and I even cried a little for a male lead suffering from unrequited love.  For the first time in a long time, I didn’t multitask while “watching” a film.

I took a nap, sipped wine, and then had dinner with a bunch of new and random people. I went dancing with friends and watched a wonderfully vibrant and complex woman celebrate her birthday and enter a new chapter of her life. 

I held my husband’s hand. I kissed his lips. I cuddled with my children. I pondered deeply about the girl I was, the woman I am, and person I wish to become in this next decade.  I accepted the things that I could not change and devised plans to change the things that I could. I finally let go of my 20’s and welcomed my 30’s.

Happy Birthday to me…